Now, I’m glad I don’t have to weigh basic assertions about consensus reality against the moldering barge ballast that is Donald John Trump. That kind of cognitive dissonance could break one’s head. Or at the very least lead to testy exchanges like this one between Zeldin and POLITICO reporters Ryan Lizza and Tara Palmeri.
LIZZA: “This is a question we got from a lot of people that heard you’re coming on the broadcast, and that is, can you unequivocally state that Joe Biden won the presidential election? And just to remind viewers, you voted against certifying the results in Arizona and Pennsylvania. Can you unequivocally state that?”
ZELDIN: “Yeah, Joe Biden is the president of the United States and that’s how you become the president of the United States.”
LIZZA: “[Laughs] ’Is’ or ‘won’? … I asked it very intentionally that he won the presidential election.”
ZELDIN: “Yes, and then I went on to continue and answer. If you’d like to give my answer for me, you can go ahead and do that, but I thought was gonna be here to answer my own questions.”
LIZZA: “No, no, I’m not giving your answer. I’m just saying, you said he is the president, and I was asking did he win the presidency?”
ZELDIN: “Okay, you’re now asking me for a third time and I’ve said yes twice, so I don’t know how many more times you want me to say yes and what your agenda is, uh, but really it’s a bit ridiculous to be asking me a third time, but please go ahead and ask me again.”
PALMERI: “He’s just clarifying the answer, to make sure that he has it right.”
ZELDIN: “You have, uh, a fourth time.”
PALMERI: “I wouldn’t call that a question.”
ZELDIN: “Go for a fifth time next, too.”
Or … he could have simply said, “Of course I can. Joe Biden won.” Instead he has to be an asshole about it.
Note that Lizza didn’t ask if Biden won “legitimately.” Zeldin might have folded himself into a Transformers action figure and wheeled himself off camera if that had happened. Or immediately pulled a Sean Spicer.
But, hey, if this is how these quislings are going to behave whenever they’re questioned about the attempted overthrow of the legitimate U.S. government at the behest of a failed, unnaturally hued serial loser, maybe they should all be asked this question. Like, every day. Until they give clear, non-mealymouthed answers without acting like ferociously drunk howler monkeys on their first night in Vegas.
It may not make them better legislators, but it sure would be entertaining.
”This guy is a natural. Sometimes I laugh so hard I cry.” — Bette Midler on author Aldous J. Pennyfarthing via Twitter. Need a thorough Trump cleanse? Thanks to Goodbye, Asshat: 101 Farewell Letters to Donald Trump, Dear F*cking Lunatic, Dear Pr*sident A**clown and Dear F*cking Moron, you can purge the Trump years from your soul sans the existential dread. Only laughs from here on out. Click those links, yo!